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I’m Louise. Blogger. Wife. Designer of TruLu Couture Veils + Accessories.  If you’d like to know more, check out my bio.

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Entries in Rogue Bride (2)

Monday
Apr232012

The Importance of Faking It

True to my word, I'm sharing the first in the series of Guest Posts, a good chunk of whom may choose to post anonymously. Happily, the first Guest Blogger is not!

I met Rogue Bride through Hindsight Bride when we all did a drunk podcast together. The rest is shall we say, blog history. I love this post on how to try to stay sane during your wedding planning. Rogue Bride is a few short weeks away, so probably knows a few things about crazy, right about now. So without further fanfare, please welcome Rogue Bride to The Thirty-Something Bride. Show her some comment love if you're feelin' it.

The Importance of Faking It

With six weeks to go until my June wedding, friends and family members have begun asking “So, are you
excited?! You must be excited.” I stare at them blankly, and it takes me a moment to remember what on
earth I should be excited about. Then I reply: “I’m too busy to be excited.”

If I were to tell you about all the things that have gone wrong with my wedding just this morning, it
would take me fifteen minutes and require a Grande Latte from Starbucks to calm my nerves. For the
last year, I’ve been stressing out over all the details. The baker who wouldn’t know real butter cream if I
choked him with it. The post office that has lost four packages and counting of wedding décor. Oh yeah,
and the favorite Aunt with whom I am no longer on speaking terms.

Before you get engaged, nobody tells you what your wedding will do to you. I’ve been snapping at
my fiancé, crying to post office workers, heart-broken at family misbehavior, and frustrated by the
limitations imposed upon me by my venue. I’ve been treating this wedding like it’s a chore. And so has
my fiancé.

With every eye roll, every groan, every “we’ve got to do THIS now, ugh” – my morale as a bride has
tanked. I felt like I was missing out on a seminal experience: Getting excited about my wedding!
Normally, I love planning parties. I adore dressy dresses. I relish diving into details and DIY projects. But
I haven’t found much joy in this wedding since the first month. It recently came to a head when I dove
under a pile of blankets in tears because I was missing out on all the happiness I was supposed to be
feeling right now.

And then it hit me – I needed to smile.

I needed to stop treating every wedding project like it’s an enormous pain in my ass. And, I needed my
Groom to get on board with me, because the moment his eyes start to roll, my enthusiasm deflates like
so many engagement party balloons.

With every project, every new Thing That Must Be Done, I plaster a smile on my face and announce
it in my most chipper tone of voice. “We get to buy your wedding band now! Yay!” “I get to call the
baker to talk about my cake!” “I get to track down RSVPs and have nice talks with my [flaky] friends and
relatives!”

I know some will argue that I shouldn’t feel obligated to be happy about my wedding. It’s a very
Feministy thing to be “genuine” even if that means showing annoyance at annoying things. Thing is, I
want to be happy and excited. I’d love to be the societally-approved Bride who is over the moon about
the whole thing (it is my conviction that those girls all have wedding planners and lots of money). For
me, part of the wedding experience I want is to enjoy the planning process. After all, you only get to do
this once (thank God).

Faking it is not easy, I won’t lie. But it has been scientifically proven, somewhere, that when you smile,
your mood lifts. When you fake being cheerful, cheer creeps in. I have to say, it has been working. No
more tears. And I think I’m finally starting to feel a little excited - sometimes - when I’m not so busy.

Smile ladies, smile.

Wednesday
Feb012012

{Podcast!} The Bridal Kool-Aid Cocktail Hour

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I didn’t think it was possible, but there are other bridal bloggers out there who curse as much as I do. They may not do it on their blogs, but they do it IRL (that’s lazy-text-speak for In Real Life, just in case you aren’t one of those tech-crazy-text-peeps). And how do I know this? Well, I have some Blog Friends IRL and make new ones all the damn time. And guess what? Ninety-nine point nine nine percent of them talk like truckers with tits. It’s true (okay, maybe not that high of a percentage, but it’s up there). Some recent additions to T30SB’s Blog Pal List include the illustrious ladies from Hindsight Bride (Christie), Rogue Bride and Kiss My Tulle (Cris).

Recently, Rogue Bride and Hindsight Bride asked KMT and yours truly to partake in their monthly podcast series, The Bridal Kool-Aid Cocktail Hour. The subject? The Dress– The Good, The Bad, The Ugly.

We went there. Oh, yes we did.

We drink (seriously) and talk wedding industry smack, this month focusing on  David’s Bridal, high-end couture, to WTF is going on in China?

When we organized the recording of this podcast, it was via Skype and getting four people connected was a bit of a challenge at first. Hindsight Bride is hidden out in the mountains somewhere and her connectivity was being all sketchy, then I had a power surge that dropped me like a hot potato. Then when Cris from KMT joined in, we couldn’t get her in the conference for like, ever. But the whole time, I was cracking up. It was just so much fun.

And I got drunk. Our podcast, which we thought would take us about an hour or so lasted for FOUR HOURS. At some point Christie (Hindsight Bride) remembered to turn off the recording function, but I have no idea how long that took us to realize. We needed to re-record a segment late in the process and by that time I was kinda drunk and have ZERO recollection of what I said. Smack talk at it’s finest. Since Hindsight Bride is on Mountain Time (WAKE UP ALREADY!), the Podcast isn’t quite live, but head on over there anyway and read the preview post on knock-off dresses made from China.

I’ll add in all the Podcast links as soon as everyone WAKES THE FUCK UP AND POSTS SOME SHIT! I’M SO EXCITED I CAN’T STOP TYPING IN CAPS!

No, seriously?  I am so excited…and nervous. I wonder what I sound like? A douchebag? A dipshit? I remember at one point thinking, “People are going to rip me apart for saying that!” and it could happen. Bring it on. Let’s get this cocktail hour started!

 OK, IT'S UP NOW AND I HAVEN'T EVEN LISTENED TO IT YET! Go here and listen!

*drums fingers, taps foot, annoyed at Mountain Time vs. Eastern Time, has already ingested way too much coffee*

**If you’d like to catch up on the The Bridal Kool-Aid Cocktail Hour Series, you can go here and check them out or skip that step and go directly to Christie’s  iTunes Preview Page and click on the ones with Bridal Kool-Aid Cocktail Hour in the description.