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I’m Louise. Blogger. Wife. Designer of TruLu Couture Veils + Accessories.  If you’d like to know more, check out my bio.

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Entries in Name Change (5)

Friday
Jun292012

{Vintage Advice} Save Yourself The Thirty Bucks

I'm pulling out some of my archived goodies. They are sure to be chock full o' snark and perhaps a little good advice. I stand by this post, over two years after the fact!

Source

You know,  if I had researched this particular aspect of getting married as I did say, my wedding shoes or our centerpieces, I could have saved myself some time, energy and thirty bucks.

While I never really thought that I would ever get married, there was one thing for sure that I always imagined and that was changing my last name. I have never been a big fan of it. I'm sure this might shock my family members who share that same last name, but I've never really liked it. I don't like the letter it starts with. Never really have. I dont' like words that start with that letter, in general. Yes, I'm an alphabet bigot.  My maiden name rhymes with words that as a kid were tortuous at times, and as a teenager - even worse. Combine the rhyming thing with the fact that I go by my middle name (it is such a Southern thing) combined with the fact that my Dad was a Marine and we moved ALL THE DAMN TIME, explaining exactly who I was, was a total pain in the ass.

All that being said, I wasn't about to hyphenate, so knew I had to change it. If I knew now what I didn't know then, I'd kinda re-think changing my name at all. WHAT A TOTAL PAIN IN THE ASS. It might be easier if I was a 20-nothing with only a credit card and a driver's license to worry about. But no. I own a  home. I have investments. I have multiple insurances. I have banks, doctors, garbage men, Home Owners Associations, voter registration...the list goes on and on and I am constantly tripping over yet another thing coming to me under my maiden name. What a bitch it is. Some things I don't even know HOW to change - like my work voice-mail log-in name. Someone set it up for me and now I have no idea how to change it. Apparently the person who set it up no longer works for the company and I can't find a damn soul who knows how to do it. The whole thing is a total time-sucker.

So I started researching how to change my name. I went to blogs I like and trust and checked out some of the ads.

A lot of the "bigger" wedding blogs are all about the website in question and topic of this post. You can't miss this website  now that you're a missus.  These "bigger" web sites talk about how easy it is to use, how all you have to do is fill out the forms, click your mouse and PREST-O-CHANGE-O you are now Mrs. Candyman! Bullshit.

The forms are helpful, but the work you have to do to fill them in is ridunkulous. Stupid, in fact. I was working my way through the forms and they wanted the addresses to all my credit card companies. Ever try to find that? I called the phone number on the back of my card to get the address, the helpful guy gave it to me and asked why I needed it. I told him and he said, "Oh, I can do that for you now over the phone." Done. No need to fill out a form, which drops the infp into a pre-formatted letter, which you then have to SNAIL MAIL to the credit card company. That's when I stopped filling out the forms and started calling. Why? Because some places you can do over the phone, easy-peasy. Others require a copy of your Social Security card, driver's license, marriage license and first born child. Every entity is different and thinking that a catch-all form will handle it is just dumb. 

Here's what you need to do:

All things start with your Social Security Card and Driver's License. Do those first.

Go here to get the SS-5 form for your Social Security Card.

You'll need to go to your particular state's DMV website to get your form. 99.9% of the time you will need your marriage license when you submit. In person. At the DMV. Suckage.

The other biggies?

The U.S. Postal Service- but really only if you're moving in with you're honey and changing addresses. 

Passport (You will need to mail in a physical marriage license, but you get it back. I highly recommend getting one or two extra notarized copies. In Tennessee you can request them in writing with a handy dandy on-line form and they are $5 each. It takes less than a week to get them back.)

Credit Cards

Banks

Health Care Providers

Frequent Flier Cards/Membership Cards (this one has quite honestly been the most difficult group)

Mortgages

Student Loans

Car Loans

Your place of employment (they'll need a copy of your new SS card)

Investment Houses (401K, IRA, etc)

Legal documents (wills, trusts, power of attorney, etc.)

Voter Registration

There are also some web sites out there that offer all these forms for FREE.

http://newlastname.org

http://namethatbride.com

Now, the webiste that I wasted my money on does have a handy checklist that lets you know when you're done filling stuff out. But please, any moron can do this. eHow has a free check list that you can use - that again, is free.

I'd say save your $30 for a spring t-shirt or two at Old Navy and DIY this one, ladies. It's just not worth it.

Wednesday
Jul062011

The Wedding Crest

That thing that I thought was a hang-over yesterday? Not so much. I went from feeling a little oogy in the early morning to feeling like total crap by 9am. Let’s just say that I think something from the July 4th BBQ did NOT agree with me. At. All. I spent the better part of the day on the couch recuperating and hydrating. It was actually kind of nice in a way because it gave me some non-computer time to catch up on the magazines accumulating on my night stand and to pay bills and pretend to balance my checkbook.

I was thumbing through the May issue of Brides and came across a one-page planning article regarding family crests, or more specifically, The Wedding Crest. The magazine described it as a “modern day coat of arms – or a wedding emblem.” The example in the magazine was nice. It was $750 for the design and $678 for 100 thank-you cards so it wasn’t THAT nice. What I thought was super cool was the idea of it.

My maiden family name goes way back in time. I have a copy of our genealogy and to tell you the truth, it’s effing exhausting. I just get completely confused by all the Earls and Dukes and Sussex this and Farthinghamshires that. We’re old. We’re English and we’re a bit royal. But royal is totally misleading because seriously, up until a few weeks ago, our girl Kate was a simple girl from the English countryside. Now she’s destined to be Queen. Keep that in mind.

Now, on my mother’s side of the family, we’re Scots. We know our family tartan, which is kind of cool. My mom and her sisters recently found out that we’re directly related to John C. Calhoun, who was vice-president under John Quincy Adams. This recent finding also places me as one of the decedents of the First Families of Charleston, South Carolina, on both sides of my family. Supposedly, this factoid is important to somebody somewhere. I have yet to reap any benefits from this, so if you know of any stakes or claims that I have there, please let me know.

So back to crests. My maiden family name coat of arms is pretty cool. It’s got four lions and is somewhat regal in nature. My brother has the lions tattooed on his back, that’s how much he likes it. Now, my married family name? I’m not sure of that crest. According to my husband, his family is simply a bunch of European vagabonds. I did a little research though and the family name first shows up in 1269 from Northumberland, wherever the hell that is! The crest is questionable. This does not surprise me in the least!

I went online to check out more of this wedding crest deal. The artist in the magazine is crazy-good invitation guru, Ceci Johnson of Ceci New York. Check out how she did these invites that include a crest:

Clip_3

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Of course this is crazy amazing, holy gorgeousness, right? But I don’t think you have to pay a gazillion dollars to have a coat of arms done up right!

There are plenty of on-line sites that offer up a myriad of gift-items to adorn with a crest. They’ve got everything from hand-painted parchment to engraved flasks (Groom gift! Groomsmen gifts! Father of the groom gift!). You can even combine two family crests together. Here some examples of that:

4crests_2164_8799621

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I thought these were pretty stiff looking. Fancy and regal and all that and as a stand alone, I like. But would anyone seriously incorporate these kinds of colors into a wedding scheme? Let’s see an inspiration board for that! What I did find was some cool folks on Etsy who might be able to whip up something pretty hip. Check this guy out:

image

Etsy shop Inkandar will tailor make your own coat of arms based on a series of questions he asks about who you are, your likes and hobbies and such. This is only $100!  This, I thought was super-fly.

And all those Etsy designers who do wedding monograms? Check out some of their work as you might be able to request a custom piece based on your families history! Search under Handmade and Family Crests and you’ll find all sorts of goodies!

So based on The Candyman’s um, questionable heritage, I think a new design might be in order! What about you? Are you into the family name thing (whether taking his or keeping your own)? Do tell.

Thursday
Mar312011

The Marriage License: Get Ye Extra Copies

 

Source

Having moved to the wonderful new (to me) state of North Carolina, there have been many-a-thing I have been forced, under much duress, to do. One of these things is getting a new driver's license. FUN! I have always said that the DMV is the best place for fun. Yes, I have too always said that....

In addition to getting my new license, I also had to get a new license plate for the car. Now, we're talking some kinda fun!

Anyway, you need like 800 million things to register your car, one of them being the title. Now, I paid off my little 2004 Passat several years ago so the title has been under my name for like, forever, so it's still in my maiden name. I wondered if that would be an issue so I called the license plate place (different than the DMV) and they told me I needed to bring my marriage certificate. TO GET A LICENSE PLATE. Sooooo stoopid. Anyway, it was a lucky thing that I had extra copies made. You should too.

So I did a little poking around and found out some info on marriage licenses that you might need to know:

1. You'll need it if you're going to change your name. If you're going to do that, DEFINITELY READ THIS FIRST!

2. Every state requires a marriage license. 

Most, but not all, states require a waiting period of one to five days, between the time the license is issued and the time of the marriage ceremony. The purpose of the waiting period is to give a short time to cool off in case you decided at the spur of the moment to marry a total tool.  The waiting period can sometimes be waived. For example, if the groom is arriving in the bride's town only one day before the wedding, but the state has a three-day waiting period, the waiting period probably can be waived by a judge or clerk of court.

Twenty states require couples to wait a few days after applying for a marriage license before they receive the license:

0-day Waiting Period: VEGAS, BABY! Oops! I mean Nevada.

1-day Waiting Period: Illinois, New York, South Carolina, Delaware.

2-day Waiting Period: Maryland.

3-day Waiting Period: Alaska, Iowa, Kansas, Louisiana, Maine, Massachusetts, Michigan, Mississippi, New Hampshire, New Jersey, Oregon, Pennsylvania, Washington.

4-day Waiting Period: Delaware if both of you are non-residents.

5-day Waiting Period: District of Columbia, Minnesota.

6-day Waiting Period: Wisconsin.

3. You usually apply for a marriage license at your town hall, probate court, city/county clerk's office.

4. Four states still require a blood test: Connecticut, Indiana, Mississippi and Montana (as well as Washington, DC). Did you know that the blood test is for freakin' syphilis? Apparently, this rule became standard before penicillin. Ew. And for the record, there are some states that now require that couples applying for a marital license must be offered an HIV test and/or must be provided with information on AIDS and tests available. Presently, no state requires a mandatory premarital HIV/AIDS test.

5. Some marriage licenses have a time limit. Generally, you can't go more than 30 days with an unsigned license. Check your state's rules and make sure you don't jump the gun.

6. If you or your fiance have been married before, you need to provide the divorce decree before getting a license. You don't want to have to start wearing your hair in braids with a front-style Snookie bump or one of those hideous prairie dresses.

7. After your ceremony, the officiant signs the license and sends it to whatever government authority your state requires. The city or state where you got hitched will then issue the certificate and send it to you. Voila! Proof of marriage!

8. And just for the creepy factor, here are some interesting factoids:

Close blood relatives cannot marry, although in some states, first cousins can marry (California, Colorado, New Mexico, Tennessee, Alabama, Florida, Georgia, South Carolina, Virginia, Maryland, New Jersey, Connecticut, Massachusetts, New York, Vermont) . Of the states that allow first cousins to marry, a few also require that one of the cousins no longer be able to conceive children (Arizona, Illinois, Indiana, Wisconsin). In the state of Maine, first cousins may marry if they submit to genetic counseling. Dude? Totally fucking gross. 

One must provide sufficient mental capacity (often this is determined as the ability to enter into a contract) prior to obtaining a marriage license. Personally, I challenge this provision. It is CLEAR that there are plenty of couples who DID NOT DO THIS.

Alrighty, so there you go. Make sure you check with the state you live in regarding marriage licenses, as well as with the state you'll be getting hitched in (if it's different). Laws change by the nano-second and you don't want to eff up the thing that makes it all legal and stuff. Hopefully, these nuggets of information have been helpful, if not entertaining.

Wednesday
Jan192011

The Best of 2010, Part I

Hey everyone! I've sneaked away this week to do that thing. Remember? That really cool thing? In my absence, I've decided to run my best of the best. That's right,  because we all love "The Best of..." recaps (at least I do), I figured I'd use the tail end of this week to share the Best of The Thirty-Something Bride 2010. These are my most popular posts as YOU, the readers, have called it. Click on the title  to see the original post. And, on Monday, January 24th? Make sure you come on back here because I am going to be hosting one killer effing contest. Fo' reals. Until then, enjoy your favorites!

Save Yourself the Thirty Bucks

You know,  if I had researched this particular aspect of getting married as I did say, my wedding shoes or our centerpieces, I could have saved myself some time, energy and thirty bucks.

While I never really thought that I would ever get married, there was one thing for sure that I always imagined and that was changing my last name. I have never been a big fan of it. I'm sure this might shock my family members who share that same last name, but I've never really liked it. I don't like the letter it starts with. Never really have. I dont' like words that start with that letter, in general. Yes, I'm an alphabet bigot.  My maiden name rhymes with words that as a kid were tortuous at times, and as a teenager - even worse. Combine the rhyming thing with the fact that I go by my middle name (it is such a Southern thing) combined with the fact that my Dad was a Marine and we moved ALL THE DAMN TIME, explaining exactly who I was, was a total pain in the ass.

All that being said, I wasn't about to hyphenate, so knew I had to change it. If I knew now what I didn't know then, I'd kinda re-think changing my name at all. WHAT A TOTAL PAIN IN THE ASS. It might be easier if I was a 20-nothing with only a credit card and a driver's license to worry about. But no. I own a  home. I have investments. I have multiple insurances. I have banks, doctors, garbage men, Home Owners Associations, voter registration...the list goes on and on and I am constantly tripping over yet another thing coming to me under my maiden name. What a bitch it is. Some things I don't even know HOW to change - like my work voice-mail log-in name. Someone set it up for me and now I have no idea how to change it. Apparently the person who set it up no longer works for the company and I can't find a damn soul who knows how to do it. The whole thing is a total time-sucker.

A lot of the "bigger" wedding blogs are all about the website in question. You can't miss this website  now that you're a missus.  These "bigger" web sites talk about how easy it is to use, how all you have to do is fill out the forms, click your mouse and PREST-O-CHANGE-O you are now Mrs. Candyman! Bullshit.

The forms are helpful, but the work you have to do to fill them in is ridunkulous. Stupid, in fact. I was working my way through the forms and they wanted the addresses to all my credit card companies. Ever try to find that? I called the phone number on the back of my card to get the address, the helpful guy gave it to me and asked why I needed it. I told him and he said, "Oh, I can do that for you now over the phone." Done. No need to fill out a form, which drops the stuff into a pre-formatted letter, which you then have to SNAIL MAIL to the credit card company. That's when I stopped filling out the forms and started calling. Why? Because some places you can do over the phone, easy-peasy. Others require a copy of your Social Security card, driver's license, marriage license and first born child. Every entity is different and thinking that a catch-all form will handle it is just dumb. 

Here's what you need to do:

All things start with your Social Security Card and Driver's License. Do those first.

Go here to get the SS-5 form for your Social Security Card.

You'll need to go to your particular state's DMV website to get your form. 99.9% of the time you will need your marriage license when you submit. In person. At the DMV. Suckage.

The other biggies?

The U.S. Postal Service- but really only if you're moving in with you're honey and changing addresses. 

Passport (You will need to mail in a physical marriage license, but you get it back. I highly recommend getting one or two extra notarized copies. In Tennessee you can request them in writing with a handy dandy on-line form and they are $5 each. It takes less than a week to get them back.)

Credit Cards

Banks

Health Care Providers

Frequent Flier Cards/Membership Cards (this one has quite honestly been the most difficult group)

Mortgages

Student Loans

Car Loans

Your place of employment (they'll need a copy of your new SS card)

Investment Houses (401K, IRA, etc)

Legal documents (wills, trusts, power of attorney, etc.)

Voter Registration

There are also some web sites out there that offer all these forms for FREE.

http://newlastname.org

http://namethatbride.com

Now, the webiste that I wasted my money on does have a handy checklist that lets you know when you're done filling stuff out. But please, any moron can do this. eHow has a free check list that you can use - that again, is free.

I'd say save your $30 for a spring t-shirt or two at Old Navy and DIY this one, ladies. It's just not worth it.

Wednesday
Feb102010

Save Yourself the Thirty Bucks.

Source

You know,  if I had researched this particular aspect of getting married as I did say, my wedding shoes or our centerpieces, I could have saved myself some time, energy and thirty bucks.

While I never really thought that I would ever get married, there was one thing for sure that I always imagined and that was changing my last name. I have never been a big fan of it. I'm sure this might shock my family members who share that same last name, but I've never really liked it. I don't like the letter it starts with. Never really have. I dont' like words that start with that letter, in general. Yes, I'm an alphabet bigot.  My maiden name rhymes with words that as a kid were tortuous at times, and as a teenager - even worse. Combine the rhyming thing with the fact that I go by my middle name (it is such a Southern thing) combined with the fact that my Dad was a Marine and we moved ALL THE DAMN TIME, explaining exactly who I was, was a total pain in the ass.

All that being said, I wasn't about to hyphenate, so knew I had to change it. If I knew now what I didn't know then, I'd kinda re-think changing my name at all. WHAT A TOTAL PAIN IN THE ASS. It might be easier if I was a 20-nothing with only a credit card and a driver's license to worry about. But no. I own a  home. I have investments. I have multiple insurances. I have banks, doctors, garbage men, Home Owners Associations, voter registration...the list goes on and on and I am constantly tripping over yet another thing coming to me under my maiden name. What a bitch it is. Some things I don't even know HOW to change - like my work voice-mail log-in name. Someone set it up for me and now I have no idea how to change it. Apparently the person who set it up no longer works for the company and I can't find a damn soul who knows how to do it. The whole thing is a total time-sucker.

A lot of the "bigger" wedding blogs are all about the website in question. You can't miss this website  now that you're a missus.  These "bigger" web sites talk about how easy it is to use, how all you have to do is fill out the forms, click your mouse and PREST-O-CHANGE-O you are now Mrs. Candyman! Bullshit.

The forms are helpful, but the work you have to do to fill them in is ridunkulous. Stupid, in fact. I was working my way through the forms and they wanted the addresses to all my credit card companies. Ever try to find that? I called the phone number on the back of my card to get the address, the helpful guy gave it to me and asked why I needed it. I told him and he said, "Oh, I can do that for you now over the phone." Done. No need to fill out a form, which drops the stuff into a pre-formatted letter, which you then have to SNAIL MAIL to the credit card company. That's when I stopped filling out the forms and started calling. Why? Because some places you can do over the phone, easy-peasy. Others require a copy of your Social Security card, driver's license, marriage license and first born child. Every entity is different and thinking that a catch-all form will handle it is just dumb. 

Here's what you need to do:

All things start with your Social Security Card and Driver's License. Do those first.

Go here to get the SS-5 form for your Social Security Card.

You'll need to go to your particular state's DMV website to get your form. 99.9% of the time you will need your marriage license when you submit. In person. At the DMV. Suckage.

The other biggies?

The U.S. Postal Service- but really only if you're moving in with you're honey and changing addresses. 

Passport (You will need to mail in a physical marriage license, but you get it back. I highly recommend getting one or two extra notarized copies. In Tennessee you can request them in writing with a handy dandy on-line form and they are $5 each. It takes less than a week to get them back.)

Credit Cards

Banks

Health Care Providers

Frequent Flier Cards/Membership Cards (this one has quite honestly been the most difficult group)

Mortgages

Student Loans

Car Loans

Your place of employment (they'll need a copy of your new SS card)

Investment Houses (401K, IRA, etc)

Legal documents (wills, trusts, power of attorney, etc.)

Voter Registration

There are also some web sites out there that offer all these forms for FREE.

http://newlastname.org

http://namethatbride.com

Now, the webiste that I wasted my money on does have a handy checklist that lets you know when you're done filling stuff out. But please, any moron can do this. eHow has a free check list that you can use - that again, is free.

I'd say save your $30 for a spring t-shirt or two at Old Navy and DIY this one, ladies. It's just not worth it.