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I’m Louise. Blogger. Wife. Designer of TruLu Couture Veils + Accessories.  If you’d like to know more, check out my bio.

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Entries in Blog Fun (59)

Tuesday
Dec132011

Because Sometimes Weddings Are Funny

I just loved these shots from photographer BG Pictures Photography.

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Because golf carts are FUN!

Wednesday
Nov232011

When Glitter Goes Wrong

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When I put my virtual pen to paper, most days I have a general idea of what I want to write about. I think y’all know by now that I’m a pretty stream-of-consciousness type writer with poor editing skillz.

Yesterday, I was thinking about what to write for today. No scheduled sponsored posts or Unfake Weddings. Nothing to report here that you can’t find else where on the Blogosphere (OH MY GOD! Alfred Angelo knocked off the Carolina Herrera Bella Swan wedding gown! For $799!). I actually considered writing a “what I’m thankful for” post. But instead (and happily for you guys) I took a swig of my Two Buck Chuck to clear the almost-vomit from my mouth as well as that boring thought from my brain.  In my blog-apathy, I jumped on Twitter for a little internet trolling.

Fucking jackpot.

I found me some serious Blog Drama. I thought I had blog drama? Oh no, my little chickadees. I ain’t got NUTHIN’ on yesterday’s shenanigans.

OK, so I’m sitting here wondering if I should do all the linking to all the articles and shit that were flying all around everywhere and methinks NO because I don’t necessarily care to increase the traffic to some of these sites. I think I’ll just mention the people and you guys can find it all yourselves, if you’re so inclined.1

It all started with what was a pretty innocent tweet from bad-ass wedding blogger, East Side Bride. She’s snarky to the nth degree and tells it like it is. I like her. The tweet in question was one that expressed a hint of snarky, but was mostly benign in nature  in regards to a DIY project that was posted on the “lifestyle” blog Oh Happy Day! In the opinion of T30SB? It was a really stupid project that was made to look slightly less stupid by nice photography. I thought the snark-o-tweet was justifiable.

Apparently the tweet was NOT appreciated by OHD. There was some back and forth between ESB and OHD. OHD  got her DIY panties in a twist. ESB fueled the fire and retaliated on her blog. Personally, I thought the retaliation was brilliantly funny. It started what I thought was an awesome thread full of “let’s make fun of stupid shit on the internet” sarcasm. I mean, we’re all fodder for it, are we not?

Then the shit got personal.

Someone found an article where OHD was quoted about her Mormonism, Prop 8 and black people. The quote was creepy, at best. It gave me the impression that she was against Prop 8 (anti-gay marriage) as were many of her fellow church goers, but then it was followed by weirdness regarding why protesters weren’t visiting predominantly black churches instead of her nice, white Mormon church (I’m paraphrasing for emphasis). The whole article made me feel slightly icky.

So folks were commenting on ESB  and Twitter, all up in OHD’s shit. I had to go make dinner so made myself STEP AWAY FROM THE LAPTOP. Let me tell you, it was like it was 1991 all over again and I was forcing myself NOT to finish reading John Grisham’s The Firm while driving. It was that good.

Fast forward to a lazy morning with The Candyman, some coffee and whoa! some shit happened last night. Some super-sleuth person did some amazeballz  journalistic, stalker-style internet shit and found a public record where OHD had made a donation of $250 IN SUPPORT of Prop 8. And they linked it.

Uh oh. Little Miss I’m So Liberal might be experiencing that god-awful taste of shoe-leather right about now.

That’s the rub about the internet. That damn accountability thing is a total bitch. You cannot hide on the internet. Ever. Fucking caches.

And this is what can happen when you write about making glitter-handled faux flatware as a hostess gift: you get your maybe-white-supremacist, anti-gay marriage views splattered across the interwebs for all the world to judge.

And I thought ragging on polyester gowns was bad….

*As a totally different aside, I found this article today. I’ve bookmarked it for future reading. I plan on visiting this article when I think I’m having a bad day. Based on some of these stories, whatever bullshit I think I might be enduring will seem like peonies and pizza in comparison. Enjoy. Or not.

Oh yeah…. HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

1OK, OK. You can find all the drama linked in the comments section of ESB's post from yesterday as well as on her Twitterfeed.

Thursday
Sep152011

Love Notes

Guess what, y’all? Guess where I am?

Well, at this precise moment, I’m contemplating a pajama drive through at Starbucks, as I’m lying in bed at my friend’s house in NASHVILLE! Did you hear me? NASHVILLE! I’m so excited to be here! I’ve returned for my friend’s 30th birthday (Happy Birthday, Alecia!) and I just couldn’t be more excited!

But all Alecia has is an espresso machine and I don’t know how to work those things without coffee already in me, so I’m a little slow on the uptake right now. *yawn*

I’ve left The Candyman to his own devices which is never a good thing. I actually had to pre-cook a lasagna AND roast a chicken to try to ensure that he would eat relatively healthy versus junk food the whole time. Why do men behave in such ways in the absence of the wife? I just don’t get it, but they all do it.

So in order to remind The Candyman of my presence, I left him a few reminders around the house…

Shuggah

In the sugar bowl…

coffee

On the coffee canister.

meat

On the ready-to-cook hamburger patties.

water

In the shower.

underwear

In and on his drawers. (The color brings out the blue in his eyes!)

There are one or two more hidden here and there.  There’s not telling I if he found them yet. Do you write your honey love notes? Do tell.

And don’t forget! Make sure you leave a comment to enter to win the FREE Melissa Sweet Wedding Gown!

Nashville? Here I come. I’ve missed you so…. 

Monday
Aug222011

Your Wedding Planning Timeline

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I think every issue of every wedding magazine ever published has a count-down style “to-do” list, starting from 10-12 months out from your wedding date. While some of these list can be helpful, all are over-kill and some painfully outdated (i.e. “Send your engagement photo to the local paper.” What? Oh, that’s right! Newspapers are still printed. Silly me).

So in response to many of these lists I’ve created my own, T30SB-style.

Congratulations! You’re engaged! Now what?

10-12 Month Before

Stare at your left hand constantly. Gesture wildly with it at all times. Stop biting your nails and pay too much for manicures. Plan to regret this expenditure in exactly 7 months when you’ll be needing that extra money to pay for [insert overly-priced wedding must-have here].

Purchase every bridal magazine known to mankind.

Instead of his name, say “my fiancé.”

During office meetings, practice writing different versions of your name, even if you’re keeping your maiden name.

Reconfigure your office so that your computer screen isn’t visible to passers-by since you’ll basically be planning your wedding from your cubicle.

Stare woefully at your bank account. Start researching new recipes made with Top Ramen.

9-6 Months Before

Kick the DIY into high gear, bitch. Plan for every project to take twice as long as anticipated. Buy two of everything and save yourself trips back and forth to the craft store. Return unopened shit later. Remember, just about every single issue of every bridal magazine that you’ve already bought has a 20% off your total purchase for Michael’s in it. Find them. They are now your new currency.

Come to the realization that your fiancé is really only into this wedding planning stuff up to a certain point. It is the rare male specimen who will go beyond this point. Do not push him. Do it yourself so that you can play the martyr later instead of blaming him for not doing something. And honestly, it’s better if you just do it.

Now is the time to STOP looking at wedding magazines. Dress-envy helps no one, least of all you.

5-4 Months Before

It’s all about the CAKE TASTINGS! Forewarned is forearmed: excessive buttercream consumption may cause adverse bowel movements.

Eyeball potential family crises and decide which battles are worth it. Start assigning friends to the drunks in your families. For instance, Bridesmaid Mary is in charge of putting Uncle Albert in a cab should he imbibe in too many Alabama Slammers at your reception. For those serious troublemakers, assign two people per asshole. Muscle might be needed.

Get those scanners to beeping and register! It’s totally OK to register for the Dyson, just realize you’ll probably not get it. And register for cheap shit too – not everyone wants to shell out $100 for a gift. Times are tight. Get real and give multiple price point options. It’s really the polite thing to do.

3-2 Months Before

Yes, you’ll be hemorrhaging cash. Time to get over it.

STOP starting new DIY projects. If you haven’t already paid for the supplies and started it, you’re only going to make yourself nuts. Look, I warned you.

STOP looking at the eye-candy blogs. You may read this one and other, non-WIC (Wedding Industry Complex) blogs that are bride-friendly (see my Link ♥ list of Blogging Brides, The Marrieds, Hard-Core Stylin’ and Good Reads. Stay away from the All-Star Bridal Favorites because even those great sites will start to make you feel inadequate as a human).

DO watch episodes of The Housewives of [Insert City] on Bravo TV. Those crazy bitches can make a tightly-wound bride feel completely sane. It’s TV therapy, I swear.

2-1 Month Before

Go ahead and have yourself a break down. Best to get it out of the way now before the shit really starts to hit the fan.

Consider anger management classes instead of dance classes. You need the former for the RSVP hell you’re about to enter. Try not to kill anyone.

Thinking of Botox or a chemical peel or facial? Do it now so that any allergic reactions, open sores and drooping eyelids have time to heal.

When you get home, put on your wedding shoes. Cook dinner, get the mail, walk the dog. Break those suckers in.

3-4 Weeks Before

Seriously. STOP reading those blogs.

Call all the assholes who didn’t RSVP. Tell the people who added a plus one that they can’t bring their slutty dates. If you need an email on how to do this semi-politely, email me and I’ll send you what I sent out.

Gather all your wedding shit into one location and make yourself a checklist of what goes where and who is taking it there. Wrap up those DIY projects, lady. Time’s a tickin’.

Cry, but only a little because you already had your break down last month. 

Go shopping for honeymoon lingerie, it will make you feel better and you’ll start looking beyond the wedding day. There is life post wedding-planning, I promise.

1-2 Weeks Before

Get your pretty on: massages, pedicures, manicures. Pamper yourself, budget be damned.

Ignore the nay-sayers.

Screw your fiancé’s brains out. Sex is a total stress reliever.

Job? What job? Oh right. Just show up and do the best you can, OK?

Day Before

Breath. In, then out. In, then out.

Herd your cattle. Tell them what to do, when to do it by and not to be late. Crack the whip, sister. It’s time to take charge.

Eat something, but don’t eat anything with a lot of sodium. You’ll bloat.

By 6pm, all wedding planning stops. Have fun with your people if you’re doing a rehearsal thing. Now’s the time to mingle with your B-List people, in case you miss face time with them at the wedding.

The Wedding Day

Eat. Light, but filling. Avoid sodium. Don’t over do it on the coffee. You don’t want a caffeine slump right in the middle of like, all the action. Nor do you want to pee every other second. 

STEP INTO YOUR DRESS so you don’t fuck up your hair and make-up. Do this WITHOUT your shoes on. If you can’t get your dress up over your hips and you MUST put it on over your head, bring a pillow case or other light weight fabric to drape over your hair and face so that zippers and beads and whatever don’t catch on your hair and so you don’t get red lipstick on your gown. That would suck. Get people to help you with this. Put ALL accessories on AFTER the gown is on.

Chill. Whatever happens will happen and will be the story of your wedding day.

Get your party on.

 

So there you go. Now you know when to do everything. Easy, right?

Tuesday
Aug092011

Birthday Love

Just wanted to show a few quick lovelies....

Awesome birthday.

1. My husband came home at lunch time to surprise me and we spent the afternoon together.

2. I got a bouquet of flowers and I was jumping up and down and The Candyman was a little miffed because they weren't the flowers he ordered. But I opened the card and they were, I thought, from my dad because it read "Love, Dad." When I spoke with my parents, I thanked my dad and he was all, "I didn't send you flowers!" and my mom and I were all, "The Alzheimer's is officially setting in. He doesn't even remember sending flowers." So to make sure my dad wasn't seriously getting Alzheimer's, I made my mom check their online bank statements. No charges. Hmpf. I only have one Dad that I know of...but then the note said to "Sweet Louise" and my dad knows better. Then I remembered that's what The Candyman's dad calls me sometimes.  So we called him and sure enough, Papa Candyman had sent the flowers! He was so sweet, a little embarrassed and feeling he'd been presumptuous by signing the card "Dad." Since I've always called him by his first name, the whole thing had thrown us. After we hung up, I asked The Candyman if he thought Papa Candyman wanted me to call him "Dad." The Candyman thought for a second and said, "I think yes. I think he'd like that very much." Now since we had never discussed what to call each other, I just assumed to keep calling him by his first name. I think calling him Dad will be OK, but I think it will also be confusing. Maybe Pops or Poppa, like how The Candyman calls my mom "Momma" and I just call her Mom. Anyway, it was all sweet as hell. 

3. About 20 minutes later, I got ANOTHER bouquet of flowers - this time from The Candyman! Beautiful, right?

 

4. We went to a casual and awesome Mexican dinner.

5. We came home and pigged out on the birthday cake The Candyman made me. I am not sure if he's ever baked a cake before, but when I opened the pantry I noted there was another box of cake mix. I asked The Candyman if that was a spare, in case he messed up the first time. I was right! How cute is The Candyman? This is how cute:

I caught him mid-picture-taking-protest. You can see his left eyebrow on its way up into a mocking statement. You totally can too see it.

6. I'm going down to see my parents tomorrow and getting my birthday present - a new laptop! It's my Dad's old one, but it's still super-swank and now I can work OUT OF THE HOUSE if I want to.

7. I'm getting my birthday present from The Candyman TONIGHT! I already know what it is, but it doesn't change the excitement level. You'll have to wait to see what it is though!

Birthday Happiness.