Throwing Down the Wedding Gauntlet
Monday, March 26, 2012 at 8:00AM
Louise in Budget, Finances

There was a moment I had in our wedding planning. It was a moment that I don’t often have, particularly in all manners of The Budget.

It was a “Fuck It” moment. It was a Financial “Fuck It” Moment (FFIM).

We (and by “we” I am mean “I”) had determined based on our salaries, some pre-wedding estimates and a lot guesses on my part,  a budget $16K for a wedding in Nashville, TN. I had talented friends (make-up artists, musicians, event planners, home décor vendors), I was creative.  I could make this work.

After writing my last post about tuxedos and reading all your wonderful comments, I realized there were some things that got sacrificed.

There were expenses that came up that they don’t talk about in wedding magazines or on the glossy, pretty pictures of some wedding websites. We had to pay over $1000 for transportation for family members who otherwise would not have been able to attend our wedding. One of our main reasons for having a wedding at all was that we wanted our closest friends and family to be there. So we paid.

We had to pay several hundred dollars for hotel costs for the very same reasons. Those costs bled over into tuxedos as well as a few other areas of our wedding. If we’d had more time, fewer geographical constraints, more money….

Fast decisions were made. What you want, what you want to see and what you want to feel all start to bleed into one another when you’re planning your wedding. It’s impossible to  know how to separate them out from the jumble of logical, emotion and those oogey places in-between.

For us, family, friends and food stayed amongst the top priorities. These were followed quickly and with most seriousness by funds, fashion and fun.

Our friends and family were amongst us and that made us happy. The food was good, but not the greatest. Far from the worst. Flowers and clothes were simple, but pretty. Funds were tight, but not severely limited. It was definitely “us.”

But there were the things like our unexpected  transportation expense. We had to come up with money for things people just don’t talk about. How many people have paralyzed future brother-in-laws who have limited funds and limited long distance transportation abilities?  Has anyone ever read an article in Brides magazine about how to accommodate your loved ones with wheelchairs, walkers, or canes? I can’t think of one.

My FFIM came after we had enough money to pay all of our vendors. The little things that kept popping up? I decided that a LITTLE manageable debt would be okay. I’m not talking thousands of dollars, I’m talking hundreds. We could bounce back after the wedding. We would be okay. So I just said,”Fuck it.” It simply wasn’t worth the stress of trying to squeeze blood from a turnip.

I realize that not everyone planning a wedding has the financial freedom to throw the financial f-bomb down like a wedding gauntlet.

But there was that moment when I just decided I could no longer worry about [insert your worry here]. I could enjoy the last bit of our engagement or I could be miserable. It’s here that we can make the choices.

What is making/made you miserable in your wedding planning and how did you/can you overcome it? 

Article originally appeared on The Thirty-Something Bride Wedding Blog (
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