Dear Wedding Guest, An Open Letter.
Monday, January 30, 2012 at 7:00AM
Louise in Advice, Guests, Open Letter

I had an email chat with a Blog Buddy recently who is still in the wedding planning process. She’s having  issues regarding her family (what they want vs. what they want) and it gave me pause to recall my own family issues whilst planning.

It wasn’t pretty.

Buuuut, thinking about that got me thinking about wedding guests in general and how annoying they can be. Yes, I said it: annoying. Those people who you love and care for? The folks who have gotten you through the thick, the thin and the everything in between; your bestest besties, your peeps, your crew, your amigos, your girls, your gusbands and even your own flesh and blood? All these people can be total assholes. Each and every one of them have the chance of being so at some point in time. Go head and plan on it.

This is an open letter to all the wedding guests out there, just to help y’all understand how to be the Proper Wedding Guest. Brides, feel free to copy this and include it with your invitations (ok, don’t really do that), y’all can thank me later.

Dear Wedding Guest,

Thank you so much for being a part of the wedding celebration! You were invited because in some way or another, you mean something pretty special to the bride/bride, bride/groom, groom/groom. The couple chose to have this celebration and to invite you because they believe that they are joining not just themselves, but their families and their friends. They love you.

However.

As a guest, you have certain responsibilities. Allow me to list some of them here.

INVITATIONS

Are you asking why? I’ll tell you why. While the bride may know that you’re coming, she’s also in the middle of planning every-fucking-thing-else, plus she’s working, she’s budgeting and increasing her gym time and all that crap. So, please excuse her if she can’t remember YOU at the moment she’s looking at a list that’s 175 people long trying to figure out if she can afford the filet or the tilapia. She needs the RSVP so that she can check you off on her Excel spreadsheet so that it will auto-sum and give her a running total as to how close or far away she is from being able to tell the caterer whether you’ll be eating filet or tilapia. Want the filet? Send in your fucking RSVP then.

A few more tips:

ALCOHOL

 

+ 1

OPINIONS

TOASTS

Some weddings have lots of people toasting. Some times it's at the rehearsal dinner. If, as a guest or member of the bridal party, you must make a toast please remember the following:

So, dear Wedding Guest, I hope you will appreciate this letter and put it to good use. As a Wedding Guest, it’s your job to behave whether you hate the asshat who’s marrying your best friend or not. Nothing, dear Guest, is about you at all. It’s about the bride and groom. Let them revel in it.

Hogs & Quiches,

The Thirty-Something Bride

 

Article originally appeared on The Thirty-Something Bride Wedding Blog (http://thethirtysomethingbride.com/).
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