Snakes, Jackalopes and No-See-Ums
Monday, August 15, 2011 at 8:07AM
Louise in Life, Photography, The South

I think I already told y’all that I was down at my folks place last week when I got those incredibly awesome Christian Dior vintage hats (*swoon*).

Well, my parents live in this community that’s filled mostly with retired people. It’s not an old folk’s community nor one of those creepy neighborhoods where old people go to die. It’s super-active; where the men meet weekly for motorcycle day-trips and bridge games and the ladies have academic sorority lunches and participate in sewing circles and go to Pilates. In fact, I think my parents are as busy now as they were when they were working.

Anyway, they live way out in this little country town that’s mostly known for their horse farms. There’s lots of land, trees, ponds and covered bridges. It’s so cute you might want to kill yourself a little. On the road out to their house, there’s this place that I pass. I’d always been curious as to what it was, who owned it and why it was in such a state of disrepair. So on this last trip I stopped by to snap some pictures.

Now, I tried to find someone to talk to to make sure I wasn’t trespassing (there weren’t any signs), but all I could find was some sort of repair shop behind the funky place. I assumed there was a lot of activity going on because it was loud as hell, but I didn’t see anyone. I didn’t want to get too close because it was a little scary. It looked a lot like the Deliverance of Auto Repair. I decided to take my chances and venture about without any permission (I'm pretty good at begging for forgiveness). 

I thought I’d share the pictures I took.

OldBoat1

A lovely old boat.

Truck1

OldTruck2

OldTruck3

This truck was just taken over by bushes and weeds and brush. There was a dead bush in the cab. I thought it was funny that it was from Charlotte, North Carolina!

OldPlace1

This is the front of the building. I want to say it was a store of some sort. There was a “Clemson Fan Parking Only” sign nailed to one of the posts, a few chairs and a rusted out shovel on the falling down porch.

Airstream1

Under the side porch was an Airstream. Most of its windows were broken and this made me so sad to see such a cool vintage camper left to rust and rot amongst old pallets. But WHAT is that table there under those screens? I wanted so badly to start digging through all this stuff!I think I felt a lot like those dudes from American Pickers.

So after wading around in hip high grass and getting all these little black seeds all over my legs and shorts, I started feeling a little braver. Now mind you, I was in thong sandals and shorts, now sweating profusely in the 95+ degree heat and 800 billion percent humidity. I was certain no human person had walked where I was walking in several years. I kept expecting a snake to jump up and bite my face at any moment. In fact I freaked a bit when I saw this:

Screw

Yes, it was a stupid rusted screw embedded into the dirt and sand that makes up the Carolina topsoil. After I had calmed down a bit from thinking I had seen a snake, I was actually scared shitless again by a rabbit scurrying off. And let me tell you, it was the biggest damn rabbit I think I’ve ever seen. It was like a freakin’ jackalope.

I stood and took several deep breaths. Nerves calmed, I ventured a little deeper behind the falling-down building and found a car graveyard.

An old Jeep.

Classic, no? A rusted old Jaguar next to a potty. Both probably run the same.*badum ching* I'm here all week, people.

Jag1

Oldcar1

I think this is an old Studebaker, but I’m probably wrong. I wanted to get up close to this and look inside, but the brush (mostly bamboo, which I thought was odd for South Carolina) was really thick and I’d already had two heart attacks from the screw and the jackalope, so opted to be a chicken shit and use the zoom lens.  

Another old Jaguar still in pretty good shape, despite it’s exposure to the elements.

I headed back to my car and snapped this last shot thinking to myself, “Some little vintage-style bride somewhere might give her eyeteeth for these suckers.”

Bottles3

I was tempted myself to start collecting them, but Lord knows what they hell might be living in those things. Ew.

I  left everything as I had found it and returned to the comfort of my air conditioned car, covered in grass seeds and sweat and I’m sure, a few no-see-ums. Happily, I avoided the twanging sounds of a lone banjo too.

Article originally appeared on The Thirty-Something Bride Wedding Blog (http://thethirtysomethingbride.com/).
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