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I’m Louise. Blogger. Wife. Designer of TruLu Couture Veils + Accessories.  If you’d like to know more, check out my bio.

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The Best of 2010, Part I

Hey everyone! I've sneaked away this week to do that thing. Remember? That really cool thing? In my absence, I've decided to run my best of the best. That's right,  because we all love "The Best of..." recaps (at least I do), I figured I'd use the tail end of this week to share the Best of The Thirty-Something Bride 2010. These are my most popular posts as YOU, the readers, have called it. Click on the title  to see the original post. And, on Monday, January 24th? Make sure you come on back here because I am going to be hosting one killer effing contest. Fo' reals. Until then, enjoy your favorites!

Save Yourself the Thirty Bucks

You know,  if I had researched this particular aspect of getting married as I did say, my wedding shoes or our centerpieces, I could have saved myself some time, energy and thirty bucks.

While I never really thought that I would ever get married, there was one thing for sure that I always imagined and that was changing my last name. I have never been a big fan of it. I'm sure this might shock my family members who share that same last name, but I've never really liked it. I don't like the letter it starts with. Never really have. I dont' like words that start with that letter, in general. Yes, I'm an alphabet bigot.  My maiden name rhymes with words that as a kid were tortuous at times, and as a teenager - even worse. Combine the rhyming thing with the fact that I go by my middle name (it is such a Southern thing) combined with the fact that my Dad was a Marine and we moved ALL THE DAMN TIME, explaining exactly who I was, was a total pain in the ass.

All that being said, I wasn't about to hyphenate, so knew I had to change it. If I knew now what I didn't know then, I'd kinda re-think changing my name at all. WHAT A TOTAL PAIN IN THE ASS. It might be easier if I was a 20-nothing with only a credit card and a driver's license to worry about. But no. I own a  home. I have investments. I have multiple insurances. I have banks, doctors, garbage men, Home Owners Associations, voter registration...the list goes on and on and I am constantly tripping over yet another thing coming to me under my maiden name. What a bitch it is. Some things I don't even know HOW to change - like my work voice-mail log-in name. Someone set it up for me and now I have no idea how to change it. Apparently the person who set it up no longer works for the company and I can't find a damn soul who knows how to do it. The whole thing is a total time-sucker.

A lot of the "bigger" wedding blogs are all about the website in question. You can't miss this website  now that you're a missus.  These "bigger" web sites talk about how easy it is to use, how all you have to do is fill out the forms, click your mouse and PREST-O-CHANGE-O you are now Mrs. Candyman! Bullshit.

The forms are helpful, but the work you have to do to fill them in is ridunkulous. Stupid, in fact. I was working my way through the forms and they wanted the addresses to all my credit card companies. Ever try to find that? I called the phone number on the back of my card to get the address, the helpful guy gave it to me and asked why I needed it. I told him and he said, "Oh, I can do that for you now over the phone." Done. No need to fill out a form, which drops the stuff into a pre-formatted letter, which you then have to SNAIL MAIL to the credit card company. That's when I stopped filling out the forms and started calling. Why? Because some places you can do over the phone, easy-peasy. Others require a copy of your Social Security card, driver's license, marriage license and first born child. Every entity is different and thinking that a catch-all form will handle it is just dumb. 

Here's what you need to do:

All things start with your Social Security Card and Driver's License. Do those first.

Go here to get the SS-5 form for your Social Security Card.

You'll need to go to your particular state's DMV website to get your form. 99.9% of the time you will need your marriage license when you submit. In person. At the DMV. Suckage.

The other biggies?

The U.S. Postal Service- but really only if you're moving in with you're honey and changing addresses. 

Passport (You will need to mail in a physical marriage license, but you get it back. I highly recommend getting one or two extra notarized copies. In Tennessee you can request them in writing with a handy dandy on-line form and they are $5 each. It takes less than a week to get them back.)

Credit Cards


Health Care Providers

Frequent Flier Cards/Membership Cards (this one has quite honestly been the most difficult group)


Student Loans

Car Loans

Your place of employment (they'll need a copy of your new SS card)

Investment Houses (401K, IRA, etc)

Legal documents (wills, trusts, power of attorney, etc.)

Voter Registration

There are also some web sites out there that offer all these forms for FREE.



Now, the webiste that I wasted my money on does have a handy checklist that lets you know when you're done filling stuff out. But please, any moron can do this. eHow has a free check list that you can use - that again, is free.

I'd say save your $30 for a spring t-shirt or two at Old Navy and DIY this one, ladies. It's just not worth it.

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Reader Comments (4)

Thank you! I've been married for almost 4 months now and am DREADING changing my name. This post was definitely helpful!

January 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterM

I am not looking forward to doing this... and was curious about whether or not those sites are worth it. Hmm... Good to know! Thanks doll!

January 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAmyJean {RelentlessBride}

I just would just like to mention that after the engagement dust settled, my hubs to be announced that If I didn't take his last name - it was a deal breaker. I thought that was just mean. It was probably the last time my stubborn self ever gave in though!

I would also like to mention that I spent weeks traipsing to the DMV with various forms of paperwork trying to get a new license. My "favorite" days were:

The one where they looked at my old (short hair) picture and my new (long haired) self and accused me of not being me.

Or the day they accused my wedding license of being fake.

I was certain I was on some sort of hidden camera show.

January 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDaisy

Nice article. But still I feel some people may opt to do the name change after marriage online. I recently did it that way from name change after marriage.

February 28, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermarriage name change

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