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I’m Louise. Blogger. Wife. Designer of TruLu Couture Veils + Accessories.  If you’d like to know more, check out my bio.

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Tuesday
Apr132010

Step Down!

Wah, Wah, Waaaaaaaaaaah. You lose.

Not you, per se. Actually, it's me. I was so excited and I know how crap like this totally doesn't play out, but I HAD to give you a bit of a tease yesterday because I was so excited!  

So as I do with all things fun, you gotta read all the preliminary bullshit FIRST, then I'll get to the good stuff. So let's see, about a year ago I started shopping for wedding gowns. My first stop was The Bride Room. I tried on this freakin' to die for Reem Acra sample that was for sale. It was pretty trashed so I knew I wasn't going to buy it, but it was too gorgeous not to try on. Amy, who plays a part in this little tale later on, was my sales woman. When I tried on the Acra gown, she prefaced the zip-up with "This is a runway sample, it probably won't zip-up. They are really small." So I'm all, "Um, OK. Whatever." And then ZIP! Up it went, no problem. Amy bends her sweet little head around my should and says, "You should be really happy about that." In fact, I GLOWED. I thought to myself "Booya, Bitches! I can fit into a runway sample!" Who the "bitches" were in my thought process? Eh, who cares. It was just a gut reation.

Sooooooo, fast forward to a month or so ago where I went to the Priscilla of Boston trunk show at The Bride Room. I reminded Amy of the interaction, and while she didn't remember it, we had a good laugh and a nice time together. I think she's pretty effin' cool. Fast forward AGAIN to my showing up at The Bride Room for the start of the Monique Lhuillier trunk show. Long story short, Amy remembered my fit staus, they throw me in a Monique sample gown and Charlotte (The Bride Room owner) tells me she'll call me later about it. She does and she invites me to the fun thing that is the point of this damn post.

TLC's What Not to Wear. Yes, that's right. TLC has come to Nashville. Our little baby city is all growed up. AND I was supposed to wear a Monique Lhuillier ON TV! On NATIONAL CABLE TV! ME! I cannot tell you how excited I was. The plan? To ambush our own Miss Hillary Robson of Brocade Designs, one of Nashville's premiere florists. I heard this morning that we're not supposed to post or put pictures up about this. Hm. WHY did they not mention that at all yesterday? Everyone was taking pictures and such. Makes no sense. So in order not to blow it for Hillary, I won't post anything about the show or anything that hasn't already been all over Twitter since yesterday. 

The plan was for me and several other women to model wedding gowns as part of the show.

Oh no. That did NOT happen.

When we showed up to sign in, we were rudely told to sit, preferably in the back, in the room with the extras who were playing the wedding guests. And we were all, "Um, but we're brides." And again, we were told to sit. And wait. My first reaction was to bitch-slap the tramp wearing the hip clip-on walkie-talkie who clearly thought she was some sort of bad-ass in control in  Nashville. In reality, she's a freakin' twenty-nothing assitant to someone not in charge who was left to manage sweet, Southern extras who showed up to have a little fun, help out some friends or just try to get on national TV. You, the twenty-nothing with the hip clip-on walkie-talkie? You. Are. Not. Nice. If you don't like your goddamn job then quit. If you don't like working with the public, don't work on a damn reality-based TV show. Idiot.

ANYWAY (I think that might be out of my system, but probably not.), we head to the back of the room, me mutteriung under my breath how I'm about to blow Nashville's ranking as one of the 5 friendliest cities in America by going verbally postal on this New Yorker who thinks she's a bad-ass. Here's a tip y'all: a Southern accent doesn't make you stupid. It makes you Southern.

One of the first people I recognized when I got there? My own wedding officiate, Minister Ralph Griggs! Also met Mandy Whitely of Mandy Whitley Photography. All such nice people. Unlike the WNTW crew. Ahem.

 

Me & Ralph.

Now, there was plenty in my original post about all things related to this What Not to Wear thing. In an effort to be cordial, I'll wait until AFTER it airs to share it.

I will tell you that I did not get to wear the Monique. That was all I really wanted to do was play the bride again. I even bribed Amy Lynn Larwig to do may make-up that moring at the crack of dawn because we all know that I am incapable of more than mascara and lip gloss these days. I just suck at make-up application. She agreed to be bribed and did the prettiest make-up on me. I can't tell you how thankful I was for her help! I feel it was all for naught though as I never even got to put on a gown. Boo. I think there were several other people there who felt the same way as there were clearly some professional up-do's and other really nice make-up jobs going on. What a waste of people's time. Grrrr.

I've never been a part of a TV shooting like this (unless you count being in th studio audience of Suddenly Susan, and I don't count that at all). It went pretty smoothly. I have to say, the folks who work on WNTW, really need to watch their own show, listen and learn. The best article of clothing I saw was a pair of Iron Maiden Vans on the boom guy. I talked to him about their snaziness. He informed me that his last pair was better - Slayer. Awesome. The worst article of clothing was a FANNY PACK. I didn't witness this number myself, but the folks who were a part of the friends and family group encountered the beast who wore it. Apparently, Amy was trying to get into the room that held all the dresses and some roadie crew bitch wouldn't let her in the room. Um, hello. There were 20 gowns in that room all worth, what? Over $1000 each minimum? Like Amy's not going to be in charge of them? So I guess she said as much to her and the women held her hand up to Amy's face (stop-in-the-name-of-love-style) and said "Step down." 

Oh, sweet Jeebus, how I wish I had been Amy. How I wish I had been there. I might have broken that girl's hand. Or at least her spirit with the biting-words of The Thirty-Something Bride cloaked ever so sweetly in the charms of Southern hospitality. I'll bet Amy was sweet as pie to her face, but like any good scorned Southern woman, we had a grand ol' time smack-talking later. In fact, I'd like you to witness a chorus of "Step Down" impersonations by our local wedding friends.

 

OK, now that I've properly bitched about all things that needed to be bitched about, I have to say this - I am so excited for Hillary. She's getting great advice from WNTW. She is just the sweetest thing. So despite the bitchy New Yorkers, I was really glad that I was a part of the whole experience. And you never know, maybe the back of my head will be on TV.

On my way out I saw Stacy, the hostess from WNTW, hanging out in the foyer of the hotel. I asked to take a picture. A few mean things: she's not pretty. Not just in an aesthetic sense, but her immediate negative vibe was totally off-putting and it made her physically unattractive. She reeked of smoke. When I chastised her (in my charming Southern way) about smoking (as an ex-smoker, I'm allowed) she goes, "Save it, I'll never quit." And I'm all, "Then you're gonna die. Painfully." We shared a  "Yeah, I can handle your bullshit NYC attitude and give it right back, bitch" look/moment and then that was it. She smiled for the camera and then I left and went grocery shopping at Wal-Mart. True story.

Please ignore my hideous hair. And what's with my face? I look like a marionette. WTF? Photo Cred is all Ashely, from ABG!

So until the show airs, you'll just have to be satisfied with this non-post post about WNTW versus the real deal. So sorry. In the meantime, just drool over these gorgeous pics of the dress I was supposed to wear. Le sigh.

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Reader Comments (13)

Good grief! Stacy looks absolutely PAINED in that photo, and not at all attractive. Your story about her is really funny. How unfortunate that her idea of looking good doesn't include losing the cigs -- the ultimate example of What Not To Wear!

April 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterWalking Barefoot

oh its so beautiful!!!! What a crazy day for you!!!

April 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJenni

You confirmed what I'd already heard about Stacy. Which is too bad, since WNTW really did teach me about how to dress appropriately for my body type and job (sad, but true. This is what happens to previously very overweight tomboys who suddenly need to be professional.) And, um, I also tried on that dress Stacy is wearing over the weekend. At least I know it's WNTW-approved, even if I won't be wearing it to my own wedding. And lastly, the whole thing sounds like a crazy blast anyhow, even if you didn't get to wear the Monique in the end.

April 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBecca

I kid you not, I said "oh, HELL no" no less that 6 times during your post. I HATE when stars are obnoxious. Don't want to be in the public eye and/or around public? Step down.

I'm glad you got to see your pastor though! that's exciting!!

P.S. I LOVE your top, is it Ann Taylor Loft??

What?? The whole day sounds ridiculous. I give the entire thing a giant thumbs down. Except for you - you looked gorgeous.

April 13, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterveronica

Oooh I love your top! And how amazing is the dress you shoulda worn?! Not sure about the way they made up the poor model to look like an oompa-loompa like but you woulda looked great in it. Hell, you'd look good in anything. Not that I'm jealous. Ho no, not me *cough* :D

April 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCatherine

I love your Stacey story. Television cameras, celebrities, or not - you know how to handle things your way!

April 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterChic 'n Cheap Living

Make up looks fabu. And next time you ever EVER even start to say "I feel fat" I will remind you that you fit into a sample gown that was fitted for a runway model.

LOVE YA.

;)

April 14, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTabitha

as a witness to the smoking conversation and the photographer of the louise+stacy photo (whats up w the photo credit?) i would like to say that i cant believe louise (well, i can) told her she should stop smoking!

louise - you are a hoot!! so glad i was there to witness it.

james' impersonation of the step down is hilarious!

it was great hanging out with you. what a day. i was drained!

April 14, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterashleysbrideguide.com

@Ashley -I KNOW! I was actually a little scared for a second when I told her it was aging her. I thought she might bitch-slap me. Then again, if she did it would have been on like Donkey-Kong and wouldn't THAT have been a hoot? Me wrestling Stacy in a wedding gown. Nice.

April 14, 2010 | Registered CommenterLouise

Did you meet Stacy's awesome assistant, Zoe? She's my dear friend's "little" sister -- we grew up with her following us around everywhere, always wearing some ridiculously original get-up. I hope she wasn't one of the folks who copped an attitude with you.

April 14, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmy Salerno

@Amy - Nope! Didn't meet anyone named Zoe! Small world!

April 14, 2010 | Registered CommenterLouise

Glad to know I wasn't the only one about the take someone down on Monday! We'll just have to imagine how you would have rocked Monique instead!

April 14, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKristyn Hogan

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