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I’m Louise. Blogger. Wife. Designer of TruLu Couture Veils + Accessories.  If you’d like to know more, check out my bio.

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Jonathon Campbell Photography

Certain things distress me. Inequality is one. Republican Congressional majority is another.*

I think people are held less and less accountable for their actions these days. What we say and do and write every day? We should be accountable for that. All of us. I personally believe I have to be a lot more mindful about what I write here. That kinda sucks a little because I've got this self-installed filter. I wish I could bitch specifically about my job or a particular person, but that's not the right or nice thing to do.  I started this blog so that I could bitch about stuff. I thought it would be me bitching and maybe my MOH reading. But then others came....so came the filter. Bummer. But, I still love it and will keep on, filter or no.

When I write about stuff that frustrates me, be it the Republican majority, body image issues or conversely, how fab I think the new Anne Barge line is, it's a personal journey through whatever I'm writing about. I don't start a post with the beginning, middle and end in mind. I write in a stream of consciousness, good or bad. It's the bad that I have to be held responsible for. If I say something that hits people the wrong way, boy howdy do I hear about it. Y'all post comments and leave me emails and I think it's wonderful. There's even a little truth to people's nasty comments. Happily, I don't get many.

However, I have recently been a part of a chain of message board comments that leave me feeling very disoriented. Very. Basically, I rebuffed a claim made on a message board as false. I felt my claim was made in a postivie voice, but many disagreed with me. That's OK, as long as my point was being heard. But what I was surprised at was the venom at which my post was attacked. I attacked back (sheesh, can't take me anywhere, I swear) with some clarity to the accusations now made at ME.  

More rebuttals came back at me, several with merit, and I appreciate those comments. What I still didn't get is that there were people who jumped in with nasty comments to points, had these people actually READ the entire string, would have realized were clarified and now THEY just look like super-mean idiots. I mean, why do that to yourself?

This is what I'm just not getting. It is a lemming-like approach of "Hey, let me jump on this bandwagon and slam this person too!" just because all the "cool kids" are doing it. Ugh. No thank you. It's this false sense of power that the anonymity of the internet gives folks. I just can't stand it. Maybe because I know that what I put here is me, filtered or not. The most consistent thing people have told me about me and this blog is that I write just like I talk. I guess I do. Having been around the blogging community for a little bit now, I have found that's not always the case - sometimes MUCH to my dismay and total confusion. I recently found out that the husband of a husband/wife PI team was the voice behind their blog. I always thought it was the wife. I had to go back and reread like a bajillion entries using HIS voice and not hers. It was way weird.

I'm still trying to figure out if what I wrote on that message board was irresponsible. I don't think it was. I've read it, the original post that got me all fired up and all of the comments a few times now, just to make sure. I don't think I was. My return comments are not my most shining moments - I felt personally attacked and responded as such - I know better than that and can generally handle what folks got to give. But the topic is one I'm too close to, too personally defensive of. Makes it hard to be subjective.  And polite.

Soooo, I've decided to non-verbally make my point. If you look up at the tool-bar up there, the gray one? Well, I've added a new tab called MY WEDDING. Over the next couple of days I'll be uploading pictures. Like, almost ALL of the pictures by the fabulous Nashville Photographer Jonathon Campbell Photography. Hope you enjoy the pics. I sure as hell do.

 Jonathon Campbell Photography  

*I'd like to interrupt this post with this: I just watched a freakin' DEER cross the street in front of my house. I am SO in the suburbs.

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Reader Comments (7)

To say that I want to know where on The Internet people are being mean to you would be an understatement. I want to know and I want to go throw venom and nastiness right back at those mean people. But that would be completely against the spirit of this post so I will just shut up.

And looking through your photos just convinces me even more that Jonathon is just so, so, SO talented. I am also convinced that you and The Candyman should definitely have babies. A) You're clearly smitten with each other and that helps and B) Have you seen the two of you? You guys could start a supermodel farm.

November 5, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMarie

So now I'm dying to read this back and forth exchange you had on a message board!!! And I love that you are posting all your wedding pics on a different tab. I may have to "borrow" that for my blog as well :-)

November 5, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterShannon

There was drama on the internet and I missed it? Oh geesh. I'm off my game! But, I did enjoy viewing the photos that you've posted of your wedding. I just wanted to tell you that I love the way your smile takes over your entire face. I can only hope that my photos will reflect such a happy time! (only 16 days!)

November 5, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterChristy V

Louise, I thought that you handled yourself well. (yes, i got to read the back and forth exchange - only because i'm a big fan of this site and an ambivilent dropper-inner-er on the other.) your wedding pictures are the most eloquent retort that you could hope to have, and all the rebuttal that you (and JCP) will need. i like it here, amongst the sanity, away from all the buzzy and annoying little insects that fly around the web with their bitching and their scratching.

November 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAli

Wow. We cannot even express how amazed we are by your grace and sometimes even the lack thereof during certain situations. It means you are real!

November 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSharon

Man do I hate it when people discuss internet fights without linking to them. So I googled until I found it (sorry!)... and see that you jumped in to defend your respected and loved friends from what you clearly felt was spiteful libel damaging to their business, which is totally admirable. Your points were valid, you're obviously a passionate woman which is so awesome! I do think there was a point to defending your friends as the wedding business is sooo competitive and without anyone to tell the other side of the story every bride who read the OP would have simply thought "uh-oh, one to avoid then..." - just leaving it wasn't as many suggested a good thing to do. Most of the comments made against you were way nasty, untrue and uncalled for, and yes, some came across as unpleasant people (particularly the person that used the "b" word, so untrue and horrible and I HATE that). I think you're right, though, in recognising also that some commenters had a point, particulary Loribeth, and you'd have done JCP more service by making a more considered and polite riposte on this occassion, after all in an interweb land of "he said she said" all people have to go on is the quality, clarity, politeness and cogency of writing. I suppose your post was the messageboard equivalent of chucking water on a chip pan fire (do you even have those in America? You know, hot pans of veg oil that catch fire, but if you chuck water on it just makes everything a zillion times worse. Kinda like what this digression is turning into....) For example when trying to win round a whole messageboard community it makes sense not to, er, insult them....

But don't stop being you and having an opinion for gawd's sake. Loves ya!!

November 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCatherine

@Catherine - LOVE your comments here! ALl excellent points. As my mother always says, "You get more bees with honey...." In this case, I'm kinda OVER the "bee" reference though.

November 8, 2010 | Registered CommenterLouise

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