Communism and Playing Dr. Phil
Sunday, January 17, 2010 at 8:28AM
Louise in Cake, General Banter, International, Link Love

I am so annoyed with China. I have had a blog brewing in my brain for several days now and I have had NO TIME to write. I am all go-go-go in the land of rice and pork and I just haven’t had a moment to gather my thoughts and put type to blog. I woke this morning at 5am and my blogging thoughts were racing and ideas were churning so I decided to get up and write.

 

Well, I couldn’t get onto my new blog over a SquareSpace. Eh? What is up with that? I tried a few entry portals to no avail. Sigh. Is the hotel server down or something? So what’s the next best thing to writing the blog? Well, the Google Reader, of course! So I go giddily over to gorge myself on my favorite blogs. I see that Mismikado's Journey Down The Aisle has posted about her DIY cake plates. They are so uber-pretty! However, I saw that her tallest cake stand is top heavy. Since I am a home décor designer and product developer, I know that as soon as she stacks her wonderful Mexican Wedding Cookies atop this sucker, it’s going to topple over. Or, someone will touch the edge and it’s going to fall over. I am worried about this bride’s desserts. Silly? Perhaps. Nonetheless, I click on the link to leave a comment to tell her of my fear of her impending cookie doom. I get the same bullshit “connection timed out, unable to connect to server” error message that I did for my blog.

 

Hold on a second here……

 

Twitter.com? Error message.

Any blog I know the address for off-hand? Error message.

Facebook? Error message.

 

Let us not forget that I am in a Communist country, right? Damn Communists keeping me from my social networking. WTF?

 

I go back to Hong Kong just for the night, so will post my brewing then. I’ve settled for purging into a Word document for the time being.

 

One of the things I had brewing in my noggin’ was prompted by a sweet email I received from one of the brides who reads my blog. She’s getting married in Nashville, liked our idea of a cake buffet, but was meeting resistance from her parents on having a non-traditional wedding cake, even though the happy couple is paying for the wedding on their own.

 

A few thoughts and comments on this, of course:

 

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. In the wise, wise words of CJ Dickson from CJ’s Off the Square in lovely Franklin, TN, DO NOT be tortured by tradition. If a stacked, fondant, over-priced concoction of flour and sugar is important to you, by all means, blow the cash. Hey, The Candyman and I shot our wad on our kick-ass ride. It was our splurge. We knew it, we accepted it, and we paid for it. However, there is no one to tell you that you must have any sort of cake anywhere at anytime.

 

Wait, strike that. Back up. There are PLENTY of people to tell you what you should have, what you should want. That, my dears, is the Wedding Industry Complex selling you a load of shit. Do what you want, not what people expect, or what The Knot tells you. There are some people out there who don’t like cake. I don’t personally know any of these people and I think maybe they might be a little nutso, but if you are a bride and you don’t like cake, then serve pie, dammit.

 

As for the parents, well that’s a touchy subject. However, since these particular parents are not ponying up for the shindig, they truly have no say. Truly, they do not. If they are laying out the cashola, that’s a whole other conversation.

 

Do you guys ever read Oprah magazine? I do and it’s a love/hate relationship going on with me and Oprah. Anyway, Dr.Phil has a column where he gives these suggestions for dialogues to wives who have cheated and want to come clean, or to the adult child whose siblings are stealing money from the aging parent or whatever drama lives in the world of Dr. Phil. I’m going to play Dr. Phil for a second.

 

The Cake Conversation with The Parents Who Are Not Paying:

Mom? Dad? Can The Fiancé and I have a quick discussion about the wedding plans? Great, thanks! We’d like to talk to you about the plans for our wedding cake. Since we are paying for this wedding ourselves, there are things that need to be budgeted. In that budget we have decided on aspects that are important to us in both our ceremony and our reception and we have allotted our funds to those things. One of the things that does not hold great importance to us is a traditional wedding cake. We understand your position on the traditional wedding cake and respect it. However, it is simply not something that is important or affordable for me and The Fiancé . We would much rather have a fun and interesting cake buffet/candy buffet/cupcake tower/cookie buffet and put our money towards my dream dress/bitchin’ ride/honeymoon/top shelf liquor. We hope that you understand and respect our budget as well as our wish to have the wedding of our dreams. We’ve done some research and we can show you how acceptable it is in today’s wedding world to stray from the “norm” of a traditional wedding cake. *This is when you whip out the pictures from all over the blog-o-sphere of all the available options. *

 

The Cake Conversation with The Parents Who Are Paying:

Mom? Dad? Can The Fiancé and I have a quick discussion about the wedding plans? Great, thanks! We’d like to talk to you about our plans for our wedding cake. Mom and I have been talking about having a traditional wedding cake versus another dessert option. Since you are paying for this wedding for us, for which we are completely grateful, we do have some personal preferences. We have agreed that there are things that need to be budgeted. We also need to discuss what is truly important to each of us regarding this wedding. The Fiancé and I are committing ourselves to one another – that is first and foremost. One of the things that does not hold great importance to us is a traditional wedding cake. We understand your position on the traditional wedding cake and respect it. However, it is simply not something that is important to us. We would much rather have a fun and interesting cake buffet/candy buffet/cupcake tower/cookie buffet and put our money towards my dream dress/bitchin’ ride/honeymoon/top shelf liquor. We hope that you understand and respect our opinion as well as our wish to have the wedding of our dreams with the funds you have provided for us. We’ve done some research and we can show you how acceptable it is in today’s wedding world to stray from the “norm” of a traditional wedding cake. *This is when you whip out the pictures from all over the blog-o-sphere of all the available options. *

 

OR – If you’re the sassy Thirty-Something Bride….

 

The Cake Conversation with The Parents Who Are Not Paying:

We’re having a cake buffet and that’s it. It’s cheap, it’s tasty and we’re blowing our cash on a phat ride.

 

The Cake Conversation with The Parents Who Are Paying:

I swear to God, if you make me buy that hideous tower of hell, I’m eloping.

 

You know, either way.

 

And speaking of cucake towers (OK, I wasn't really, but I did mention cupcakes as a possible dessert option), check out THIS bad-boy!

Because I haven't channeled Rachel Zoe in a while, I have to tell you I totally pulled an "I DIE!" when I saw this! Yes, it's a white cupcake tower that holds 48 cupcakes and is dripping with sparkling dangles.

Is it possible to renew your vows like 3 months in? I'd love to plan it all over again, but already be married. How fun would that be? 

Oodles. So. Much. Fun.

Later folks, I gotta go Skype The Candyman.


Article originally appeared on The Thirty-Something Bride Wedding Blog (http://thethirtysomethingbride.com/).
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